I have been Enlightened.

That is Gerard Way being absolutely fab at life.
I also know what I want to do with my life. How awesome right? I am changing my major to Digital Media and transferring to Brooks institute of photography. Next week I am going to be talking to a councelor to get a new plan for transfer. MAYBE I WONT HAVE TO TAKE MATH!??!?! A girl can hope right?

We seem to have some morons at work. Well just one moron. And I am going to have to do some damage control. Many props to my BFF4L Brandon for bringing this to my attention.

I really want to start over. Blank canvas, new roll of film. Just change everything. Not really change because I hate change. Just, something fresh. Today, Sept 2nd, I will be a new person. I will actually be nice to people. And say nice things. Pretend no one exists but myself. Ive realized that karma sucks so hard sometimes. And sometimes you cant control everything. Actually I take that back. You can control anything you want. You be nice to someone and they will be nice to you. MOST of the time that works.

Except theres one thing you cant control. Thats your feelings. The little men in their white suits running around your brain controls your emotional psyche. I honestly feel that way right now. And no matter how hard I try to feel a certain way I cant. And right now im feeling detatched. I just want to be. Do whatever I want, yeah? But im feeling really stuck.

Dont you wish you could just hop on a plane, go somewhere, anywhere, pretend youre someone else. Anyone else. I want to be someone else right now. No one in particular but I just want to be different. Get of out this routine. Quit being stuck.

I cant help that everything changes no matter how much i hate it or pretend its the same. Andypants said it best, everything in transit. I have to stop pretending. Im not the center of the world anymore. Not the real world anyway. My world, yes, but even then being the queen gets boring.

I need a new situtation, new people, new car - bmw please and thank you - and i love everyone in my life right now. Please dont take this the wrong way. I just need new.

love and stuff.

Comments

[Meghan]

Everyone needs change at one point or another, nothing wrong with it.

I think switching to Brooks is a great idea. You're always taking photos, it just seems natural. And it'll be something you enjoy. I envy that you now know what you want to do. Me, still clueless.

And I love that picture of Gerard. Just might steal it from ya.