i neglect this. i need to refurb it. i know most of my older photo albums need fixing from the bug typepad had last year. later.
i want to talk about last year. a lot happened. i changed. i definitely felt it. i dont know why. maybe because i went through a situation in the summer that affected me more than it should have? i dont know, i felt so close to him (andrew mcmahon, ha) because of his music. and knowing that he could have been taken away at any moment was scary. knowing that ANYONE even myself could be gone was terrifying. i had to change the way i looked at my life. yeah, i guess you could say i was in a sort of depression for a few months. cutting things and people out of my life because i didnt know where id be, theyd be, in the future. i used to be so afraid to live. to take risks. i was so shy.
i still am afraid to take huge chances. i dont even know where i want to go with my life. i thought i had it planned. everyone thought i was going to be so successful. i was smart. i had a passion. i had a goal. i dont care anymore. i just want to have fun. see the world. take pictures. life is too short to be stuck at a 9-5. i want to win the lotto.
my mom likes to catch me at bad times and ask "where are you going with your life?" i have an answer that she hates to hear "i am going to be a photographer. ill figure the rest out later" and then ill change the subject. im almost 20 years old. i just want to have fun.
all my life things have been handed to me on a silver platter. i dont take it for granted, i just dont do anything for myself. why should i when something always happens for things to go my way? i am just scared that things will stop coming. opportunties will see the lights out and not knock on my door.
i dont know why i come off as a bitch. /random
thats spencer. idk if you know about him. but hes pretty much the love of my life. we go everywhere together. he keeps me connected.
hes a sweetheart. omg im weird. but were inseparable.
yeah, lifes needs.
i miss this.just because there were a lot of photo ops.
i miss this as well.
because it was fun to get away
yes i miss my east coast friends. because at cavanaugh park...we used to play in the sand.
i miss hanging out with brendon! at the disco on street corners. while he talked to my mom on the phone. and beating jenny with skateboards.
DEF MISS THIS. THE *JARK PLUS LMAO.
CAN U TELL IM JUST GOING THROUGH MY PIX. HAHAHA.
LOLZ. we coo.
i proclaim this summer will rule. because frankly, last summer sucked. :)
touchingly honest.
Posted by: Brit | June 17, 2006 at 07:56 PM